I have a secret
by Chrysallion
Summary: There's no secret that time won't reveal. Lyserg has kept a secret no one knows. But what if time comes wherein the secret Lyserg kept for so long will start to unravel. What will Yoh and the others do when they discover that Lyserg is a...? Contains genderbending, Fem-Lyserg and crossdressing
1. Chapter 1

**Hey everyone. I decided to write a Mankin story for the first time. I hope I get it right though(and that it won't be too OOC) Though I have a feeling I will fail at keeping them in character but I'll try. Anyway, this will be following the Manga timeline and not the anime (Lyserg was a jerk there, he's better in the manga) **

**Pretending that this fanfic occurred a few nights after the fight in between X-III's fight and Hao. But there'll probably be some changes in this fic. **

**There is genderbending and crossdressing in this fic so if you're uncomfortable with that idea then I guess this is your cue to leave.**

**If you don't find those then thank you and proceed on reading. **

**DISCLAIMER: I don't own Shaman King. **

A sigh.

How many times did Lyserg sigh today? He already had lost count. He was tired, to be honest. Marco was getting stricter after X-III's sacrifice.

The green-haired teen was also confused. Did he really make a right decision to join the X-Laws? But he shook his head and disregarded the thought.

He did it to defeat Hao.

He _must _defeat Hao.

He knew that but he was still having his doubts.

He sighed again.

Morphine landed on Lyserg's shoulder and touched his face.

"I'm fine. Thank you, Morphine." He smiled at his little friend," I'm sorry for worrying you."

Lyserg decided to enter the bathroom and made sure to lock the door. After all that harsh training from Marco, his chest was hurting more than usual. Slowly, he unbuttoned his white uniform and winced at some of the scratches and bruises all over his upper body.

He stared at the mirror and looked at himself or rather—herself.

She carefully removed the bandages on her chest. They were tight but she had to keep them on to hide her secret.

How long had she been keeping this secret?

Ever since her parents died, she decided to crossdress. It was because of fear. She felt uneasy with all those lecherous stares some of the men gave her. Plus, if she ever wanted to defeat Hao then she must be strong. But with her fragile appearance—people would just underestimate her.

She actually thought that if she dressed up as a guy—she'd probably have a chance to have teammates in the Shaman fight who won' t treat her like a princess or something to protect or a weakling. She thought that she might not look really strong but as a guy—at least he'd look stronger, right? She wanted to be strong to defeat Hao.

But now, there seems to be no difference.

She was still weak and whether she crossdress or not—it's still the same.

She lost herself in thought as she emerged herself the bathtub. Her wounds hurt a little but she ignored it. Her mind wandered to the times she was with Yoh and the others.

She realized how much of a jerk she was for attacking them on their first meeting. They were so kind. She had already apologized to Yoh the night before X-III's match but she can't help but still feel a little bad.

"Morphine, do you think I was right for leaving Yoh and the others without even saying goodbye?" Lyserg asked Morphine who just looked at her sadly. Lyserg shook her head, "What am I thinking? It already happened. There's nothing regret could do."

"But you know, Morphine. I miss the old days where mom would give me those frilly dresses that were so annoying and comb my long her into a braid." Lyserg ran a hand through her spiked her, "But I cut it short cause keeping it long reminded me of my mother. Now it's not as soft as it was due to the hair spray I use to have it spiked."

Tears started to fall, "I'm so stupid. I decided to do what I do but now I'm regretting it. "

She had so many regrets. For lying to her friends, for betraying them, for not doing the things she wanted to do.

"I'm going to catch a cold at this rate." She said and decided it was time to get a grip.

Later that night as she wore her night dress, she made sure the windows were closed and the door was locked. She didn't want to risk anyone knowing about her secret. She didn't want to deal with her friends when they'd learn her secret.

Tonight, she closed her eyes and visited a kind dream that would turn into a blazing nightmare.

**I hope it's okay. Next chapter, the others are going to appear.**

**Please review. I accept criticism cause it helps me better but if it were flames then hao should take care of them. **

**Thank you. **


	2. Chapter 2

**I'm glad that people review. You are all so beautiful. Thank you.**

**By the way, this was made in a hurry cause I'm sleepy buti really wanted to finish it so I can upload it today. Anyways, I'm not going to follow everything in the manga and probably going to have time skips since the main focuis of this fanfic is Lyserg's secret. **

**Anyway, I'm not really suway what are there in the Pache Village so I just guessing.****Despite all my flaws in writing this story, I hope you guys will enjoy it. Sorr for the long note.**

**Disclaimer: I don't known SK. nor do I own Arrietty's song.**

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><p><em>It was a garden. Everything was so surreal. The roses shone a vibrant red, daffodils bloomed beautifully and dandelions were everywhere. Holding a forget-me-not in hand, a braided girl with emerald eyes lay down on the grass.<em>

_Nostalgic._

_Lyserg felt nostalgic. She remembered this place. _

_Where was this again?_

"_Dear, what are you doing?"_

_Ah, that's right. This was the garden back at her home. _

_This was her mom's favorite place. _

"_Mom!" _

"_Now, dear. You'll have to take a shower." Lyserg's mom ruffled her hair, "You have an earthy smell."_

"_But mom! I wanna play!" little Lyserg whined, "Just for a few minutes please?"_

_Lyserg almost felt herself crying at the scene before her. _

_It was like she was watching a memory._

"_Sing for me, mom!"_

"_Now little lady, take care of your hygiene first."_

"_Please! I promise I'll go back inside now!" Lyserg pleaded, "Just up until the first chorus?"_

"_Okay, okay."Lyserg's mom—Jane Diethel—sat down on the grass and the little girl immediately lay her head on her mother's lap. Jane just laughed at her._

_I'm fourteen years old, and I'm pretty_

_A little-hearted little lady_

_For a long time, I've been living_

_Under the floor as a borrower_

_Sometimes I feel happy, _

_Sometimes I feel blue_

_I'd love to meet somebody_

_The little girl smiled and started to dose off. Her mother's voice was so soothing._

_I want to feel the wind in my air_

_And gaze at the sky_

_I want to bring you a flower—_

_Suddenly, the flowers withered too quickly and when Lyserg looked at her mother again—she was burning. Everything else started burning again. _

_Then, Lyserg started to burn as well._

Lyserg's eyes snapped open and she immediately sat up. She just had a nightmare. Silently, she cried as she pulled her knees closer and hugged herself.

Shakingly, Lyserg sang the last lines of the chorus,

_It's a different world out there_

_Look, butterflies are dancing—_

_Waiting for me_

"I miss you mom."

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><p>"Due to the damage of Hao's battle with the X-III, there will be no battles today." Chocolove said, "I wonder how long would it take for them to repair it."<p>

"So, what are you planning to do now, Yoh?" Horo Horo asked only to be answered by silence, "Figures."

Yoh snored silently in his slumber.

"How about you, Ren?" Horo Horo diverted his attention.

"Isn't it obvious?" Ren stood up, "Unlike other people, I'm going to train."

"I guess I'll just roam around the city then." Ryu said.

" Okay." Horo Horo said, "Then I guess I should be leaving too."

"See ya later, Yoh." Ryu said, "If Yoh wakes up, tell him we decided to do some business, Amidamaru."

With that, they left the Inn. A few minutes later, Yoh decided it was time to wake up and told Amidamaru, "I'm planning on visiting someone today."

"Is it okay?" Amidamaru asked, "Yoh-dono, the last time we visited him, the X-law—"

"It'll be okay." Yoh grinned, "It's just a simple greeting."

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><p>"Why are you late, Lyserg Diethel?" Marco adjusted his eyeglasses as he stared looked at Lyserg. "Why are you not wearing your uniform? And what's with the hoodie?"<p>

"I woke up late and my uniform's wet. I washed it last night and it didn't dry up" Lyserg lied. She took most of her time laying in the bed and reminiscing the past. And to add to her depression, she realized that she ran out of hair products. She instantly regretted having washed her hair last night. But if she didn't, it would be uncomfortable.

But the problem is she didn't have anything to spike her hair with. With her hair down, she looked more feminine that's why she had to use a cape with a hood to hide it.

It might make them suspicious of her.(though wearing a hood made her seem more suspicious)

Forget not to mention that Marco seemed to be skeptical of her.

She had to be careful if she didn't want anyone to know her secret.

"I believe that I gave you two or three spare uniforms."

"Uhh.." _Shit, I'm screwed._

"It doesn't matter."

"Huh?" was Lyserg's intelligent reply.

"We're gonna have our day off today." Marco said, "Do whatever you like."

"Thank you, Marco." _Ave, Maria. I thank the heavens._

Lyserg immediately ran back to her room and took her wallet.

"I'll be back later." _After I buy a new hairspray._

As Lyserg set foot on the land, she saw Yoh heading towards the ship. She was about to call him but realized her situation.

_What if he'll see me? He might realize something…_

Lyserg decided to leave faster and head for the Pache village. Hopefully, she'll find something there other than souvenirs.

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><p>"I can't believe I got carried away." Lyserg sighed exasperatedly as she lightly banged her head repeatedly on the wall, "Stupid! Stupid! Stupid! Stu—"<p>

"Are you okay, Miss?" A worried sales lady asked.

"Yes, I am." Lyserg looked at her and definitely did not look okay. But the saleslady decided not to pry.

Lyserg felt drained. She successfully found a place and had bought what she had intended to buy. But there were these cute dresses and it had been a long time since she wore one. She thought that it wouldn't hurt to try it on. Just a simple white strapless dress ended half an inch above Lyserg's knees. But then she started to get fashionable and picked a green blazer. She then proceeded to look green high heels and ended up buying them on.

She was just supposed to try them on but then she ended up buying them. She looked at her reflection in a mirror. She looked so different even if she had just placed a light make up. Yeah, she went too carried away. Just a little powder, blush on and light lipstick and now she truly looked like a girl.

"What should I do now?" Lyserg muttered, "I can't go back to the ship like this but I can't throw these away. They were expensive." She opened her wallet, "I'm almost broke."

She decided to walk out of the store and thought of a strategy as to how she could deal this situation. She was so deep in thought that she didn't notice how dark it was already. But her stomach informed her though. She had skipped lunch and only had a sandwich bought at a store for breakfast.

Morphine was not with her at the moment—her little friend was attached to a flower they had passed by earlier that day and so she told her little friend to meet her back the ship 'cause she'd do the shopping on her own. It was just a hair product after all.

She knew that she shouldn't have separated with Morphine. But Morphine looked so happy with those flowers. There was hardly anything like those in the ship so she felt that she should at least give Morphine a little happiness.

"Oh, what do we have here?" a gruffy voice was heard behind.

Lyserg turned around and found three men behind here.

"Well, isn't she cute?"

"Her legs are flawless."

"Would you like to spend a night with us?"

What were one of the reasons why she crossdressed again? Ah, yes. She had to deal with imprudent fools like these.

"You'll love it with us." One with a long, black, messy hair said, "We're shamans, you know?"

"But you don't participate in the shaman fight." Lyserg pointed out, "You don't have oracle bells."

"Sharp, aren't ya?" A guy with a stout stature said, "Are you a shaman then? But you don't have any spirit with you."

_Shit. I forgot that Morphine's not here. Martial arts? My skirt's too short. Darn it, I'm starving. Run? It's quite risky with high heels plus I don't have enough energy._

"I don't really like it when I see scums like you corner a girl like that." A familiar voice spoke behind the three men.

The attention was immediately diverted to them and Lyserg was happy to see them.

It was Ryu, Horo Horo and Chocolove.

"You want a fight?" the long haired guy said, "We're shamans you know."

"Is that so?"

It didn't take long though. The three guys were immediately beaten up.

"Hey, are you okay?" Ryu asked Lyserg—not knowing it was Lyserg.

"Yes, thank you." _Keep calm. Don't do anything suspicious. Pretend that you had just met them. Act natural. _

"You look familiar." Horo Horo squinted, "Have we met somewhere?"

"Hey, dude. That's rude" Ryu said and turned to Lyserg, "Don't mind that guy."

"It's okay." Lyserg smiled.

"By the way, I'm Umemiya Ryu. This is Horo Horo and Chocolove." Ryu pointed to the two beside him, "And you are?"

_Shit. What should I say?_

"I… I'm Lisa." Lyserg said, "Lisabeth."

_It's been a long time since I have introduced myself with this name._

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><p><strong>Hope that you enjoyed that. If there were any mistakes, unsatisfactions and so so then feel free to point them out. It'll help. Please review. Compliment, criticism or rants I will accept them all as long as its honest. :<strong>


	3. Chapter 3

**I'm sorry that this took long to update. Writer's block. I also didn't know how to start the chapter. There were also a lot of problems but I'm not going to talk about it. **

**Hope you'll enjoy this. I had to make it in a hurry.**

**Discalimer: I don't own Shaman King.**

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><p>"Yoh-dono, I couldn't find Lyserg-dono." Amidamaru approached Yoh with a worried expression, "I'm sorry."<p>

"It's okay." Yoh smiled at him, "He's probably just training or doing something."

Yoh left the area immediately. He came for Lyserg and since his green-haired friend's not there then there's no reason to stay. He didn't want to start another fight with the X-Laws.

"What should we do now, Amidamaru?" Yoh asked, "Should we go back to the hotel or should we roam around the streets?"

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><p><em>This is awkward. <em>Lyserg lost count of how many times the thought had crossed her mind as she sat in front of her friends in silence. No one had spoken a word. The waiter had taken their order a few minutes ago and now they didn't know what to do.

_What now? _Lyserg thought as she shifted awkwardly.

"S-So, what were you doing here in Patch village?" Ryu asked in an attempt to break the silence.

"Oh, I was just shopping." Lyserg replied quickly. And almost immediately, silence came back again.

_This is awkward. _

"What did the flower say to the bee?" Choclove suddenly spoke loudly that everyone on the table slightly jumped, "WASABI!" He had both his hands up as he waited for the laughter to come.

It was silence once gain as everyone turned white.

"Did you hear about the corduroy pillow?" Chocolove was undaunted and he attempted another, "It's making headlines!"

"I don't get it." Lyserg commented as angry marks appeared out of Horo-Horo's head and he whacked Chocolove on the head.

"Will you just shut up? You have no sense of humor!" Horo-Horo verbally abused Chocolove as the poor comedian nursed a lump on his head. "Geez"

"Cheese!" Chocolove stood up as if nothing happened wearing a cheese mascot. There was awkward silence again. Horo-Horo and Ryu was torn between beating him up or just ignore him.

"Come on, laugh" Chocolove said while laughing, "You know you want to!"

Horo-Horo wa about to hit him again until they heard a giggle across the table. It came from Lisa. When Lisa noticed that everyone was watching her, she blushed and looked down at her lap.

"Y-You laughed!" Chocolove looked like he was about to cry. "See! She gets my sense of humor! I still have more of that!"

"Oh no! Don't get encouraged now!" Horo-horo looked apprehensive but deep inside he was relieved that the awkward silence was gone. He was not good with girls after all. Damn Ryu for offering to treat them. But then free food is free food!

A few minutes of bickering between the comedian and the angry ice shaman, the waiter came back with their orders. In that instant, they were already eating their food.

Silence was back between them except for the sound of slurping, munching (courtesy of Horo) and the soft clattering of the utensils. When Lyserg finished her meal, she closed her eyes for a while as she relieved the peace and silence. It's been a while.

Then she remembered something and slightly panicked. She glanced at her wristwatch and silently cursed for her not noticing the time. Marco's going to flip!

"I-I need to go." Lisabeth stood up urgently, "Thank you so much for the wonderful meal. I'll pay you back someday."

Without even waiting for a reply, she ran out of the store. But then she remembered how she looked at the moment and she decided to look for a place to change clothes.

When she looked at her wristwatch and saw that it was forty-three minutes past seven, she panicked and because of this; she no longer cared to find a decent place to change in. She immediately head to the dark and abandoned alley at the side and crouched behind a wall bin that was big enough to cover her.

She removed the clothes of off her and replaced it with her clothes when she left the ship. With haste she took the bottled water she had bought before and with a wet napkin, she tried to remove the make-up off her face. It was difficult.

But then Morphine went in her line of vision and she beamed in happiness, "Morphine! Is there some make-up left on my face?"

Morphine helped her remove the makeup and right after Morphine stopped, she immediately took the shopping bag and opened the hair spray and messily fixed her hair.

"Let's go, Morphine." Lyserg stood up as she carried the bags with her and fixed the hood. She had to hide her face just in case. She looked at her wrist watch and panicked as it was already past eight. Without caring, she immediately ran out of the alley and dashed her way towards the X-Laws ship.

She'll take care of her appearance later, what was important right now is heading there. Marco would be so furious at her. But as she was heading towards there, it seemed that fate decided to make things worse.

Lyserg was not paying attention to the road and bumping with someone was inevitable.

"I'm sorry." Both of them said at the same time.

"Lyserg? Is that you?" The person Lyserg bumped with asked and almost immediately, Lyserg looked up. It was none other than Yoh. "Why do you look so disheveled?"

"Uh..." Lyserg didn't know what to do anymore. She needed to go to the ship but she also did not want to make Yoh feel bad by leaving immediately. But she really needed to go, Yoh would understand…

"What's that?" Yoh suddenly laughed but when he saw Lyserg's horrified expression, he stopped, "I'm sorry."

"What?" Lyserg looked confused. But she was afraid that maybe Yoh had discovered something or what. She was in a hurry after all. Did she miss something? _What should I do? _

"Um,Lyserg…" Yoh trailed, "Is that lipstick on your—no, no it's okay! I won't judge."

"Yoh, I—" Lyserg looked terrified by now as she placed a hand over her mouth to wipe it off.

"I didn't know you loved bracelets." _They're pink too. _But Yoh did not mention it. He didn't want his friend to feel awkward. He decided to cheer Lyserg, "Um, Lyserg. It's okay if you're… like that. I won't judge. We're still friends!"

Great. Now Yoh thinks she's gay.

"I men. It's okay to be honest once in a while…" Yoh scratched his head. But he gave Lyserg his usual grin, "Everything will work out!"

_Until Marco will—oh shit! Marco! _Lyserg immediately removed the bracelet and faced Yoh, "Is there anything else? Do I still have make up on my face? None? Thanks Yoh! Bye! Don't tell anyone about this!" Lyserg ran away from Yoh with Morphine following him.

"That was…" Yoh was in between surprised and amused. He didn't know what to think of that. But he smiled. If Lyserg was really like that then Yoh doesn't mind as long as he's happy with it. Yoh just loves his friends after all and Lyserg was his friend.

"But I'm still confused, Amidamaru." Yoh said, "Who could've thought that Lyserg-kun swinged that way."

"Don't you think it's a bit too early to jump to conclusions, Yoh-dono?"

"I don't know. It seemed like that to me. But still," Yoh grinned, "If he's happy with that then let's support him."

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><p>"Where have you been, Lyserg Diethel?" Marco looked down on Lyserg whom he had just slapped in the face, "Don't you know that good boys sleep at eight o'clock. You lack discipline."<p>

"I'm sorry, Marco." Lyserg kept her head down.

"You're hair is messy." Marco commented as he walked away, "I'll be forgiving this time."

Lyserg sighed in relief. At least she got away though she wouldn't deny that she was surprised. She expected to receive some kind of beating from the blonde man.

_I guess strange things do happen._

Lyserg slowly picked up the bags on the ground that fell from her hands when Marco hit her. She walked towards her room with a bothered mind. She has a big problem at hand now.

Yoh.

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><p><strong>Was it okay? I decided to give Lyserg more problems and let's see how he(or she, in this story) would deal with it. Anyways, please review and tell me what you think! Thanks, bye!<strong>


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